Sunday, September 26, 2010

Piggies Can't Go to Market!

As many of you may already know, my husband LOVES flip-flops. They are a part of his year-round wardrobe. Wearing them at all times, we have some pretty tragic stories of flops gone by. If you dare, delve into the mind of my crazy man and his take on our most recent loss.

Faded Glory flip flop, more commonly known as”Flip”, age 2 of Mauldin, died Saturday September 25th at 12:38pm., from injuries sustained in a flop of flipping furry. Although, great “strides” were taken to revive Flip, his premature death issued a “toe-tag” sentence.

Flip was born in December 2008 in a rural factory in the east of Taiwan. In 2009, Flip and brother, Flop, were shipped to the local Mauldin Wal-Mart where they were adopted by two crunchy feet. Flip and Flop worked a variety of odd jobs, including multiple sessions of praise and worship, being a cushion for the lead foot to the pedal, and an all too unfortunate event involving a dog, tall grass, and a slighted step. Flip’s life ambition, and now legacy was to see all lost “soles” to be found and “heeled”.

Flip is survived by brother, Flop; Mother, Stiletto; Father, Penny loafer; and distant Cousin Nike. He is predeceased by his Grandfather “Squeaky Heel” Oxford; and Native American Grandfather, Moccasin.

Services were held on the date of death shortly after the accident. Officiated by Pastor Plantar Fascitis, the service included a “toe-tapping” rendition of the hymn, If I Walk In the Pathway of Duty.

Contributions in memory of Flip can be made to the Corn and Bunion Foundation of Slater-Marietta.

1 comment:

  1. Oh lawd have mercy! I'm seriously rolling in the floor laughing over here! I love it!!!!